Love love love YOU. Thank you for getting these words on paper (screen?!). So raw. So beautiful. Life’s so damn hard. And we’re all just figuring how to be alive for the first time. Grateful to bear witness to you and your healing, dear one. May this time at sober camp be the deep sigh and breath you need. I’m here. Cheering for you. XOXO ✨♥️♥️✨🫶🏼🫶🏼
I'm here, with you, along the way, wherever that way goes. I hope you begin to realize that you are a badass, a badass that requires nurturing of body and soul. Not calling it self-care, so there. You're courageous to share this. Love you.
Heather, I was in a similar place around 15 years sober. For a while the sister 12 step group helped more, but overall I found that the rooms were not offering me enough to help me quiet my mind and regulate me emotionally. Most of what I found in that program was people just telling me that my racing mind was the results of me not working the program hard enough, not doing enough. As you know, I also went through a similar caretaking period with both my mom and MIL. That induced some serious burnout so I do understand exactly how you feel. I needed to spend time at that point really figuring out how my brain worked. Learning about my ADHD and neurodivergence really helped me understand how much of what my brain does is not things I can control, no matter how many steps I hit them with (I reviewed my first 4th not long ago, and 85% was adhd shit). Then doing five years of intense trauma therapy… now it’s hard to visit the rooms because there is just so much unhealed trauma that the steps don’t address. I do miss the community, though. I’d be happy to discuss with you if you’d ever wanna chat about it! Love you, girl, and good luck at sober camp.
You lose nothing gained in a relapse except the parts of you that needed some TLC. People may shame you or I, but what others think you lost will become major gains. You gain wisdom, you enlarge your empathy, and you rediscover the joy of the simple things amidst the complexities of life. Keep your chin up, my friend. I've got nothing but mad dog respect for you! 💪
Oh, yeah. And also? YAY! May you find space for lots of deep breathing, and permission to do the grieving that has been stored in your very bones for the last few years. Scream. Pound on something. Write it down. Then, go on a never-ending hunt for beauty, wherever you can find it. And as you spot it - know that your amazing parents are lookin' at it right with you. Yes, they are.
Glad you're there, and sorry that there's so much incredible assholery in our health care system that you couldn't find somewhere safe to land. That part just gets scarier by the day. But you have your caring family, and they are so supportive...I loved that they all moved you in. Wishing you a safe space and the time and the work (always the work) that makes something click and feel true inside.
I've followed your posts and writings for a number of years now - and I admire you greatly and I relate almost totally. Thank you for sharing your life. I'm rooting for you from Texas!
I love you, my foreversobersoulsister! There will always only be one you for me in this very particular way, and I will always be right here with you in this, wherever you are. Sober camp! I like it here. <3
Thank you, sir. I'm pretty sure you're a fellow creative tortured soul. Which is a beautiful thing when by tortured we mean we care a lot, love hard, and make magic. I had lost my creative self and that sure is painful. I hope I'm finding her now.
Heather, I followed you years ago, and I’m so glad I found you again. I had 14 years, and now I’m at 33 days. My story is much like yours, and I’m also trying to learn selfcare and rest. It’s harder than I thought so far. I’m looking forward to following along with your journey.
We are traveling together. I’m grateful that you reconnected and that everything about your fourteen years is still inside you and matters more than a relapse. These relapses are informing us of something. Let’s keep listening. Peace to you.
Maggie, what a wonderful story and good for her. I don't often talk about my years of sobriety, but I can say tomorrow it will be thirty years. I used to be really good at drinking, so, they don't let me do it anymore. All the best.
Hi Heather, I am thinking of you and cheering you on from Onamia. I moved away from the area, but near or far, you continue to be an inspiration. Thank you for sharing with such honesty and openness. I have been having many feelings you were discussing in your writing. It made me pause and evaluate if I need to change things before it gets too unmanageable. Please know that your sharing has helped me and will help others!
Love love love YOU. Thank you for getting these words on paper (screen?!). So raw. So beautiful. Life’s so damn hard. And we’re all just figuring how to be alive for the first time. Grateful to bear witness to you and your healing, dear one. May this time at sober camp be the deep sigh and breath you need. I’m here. Cheering for you. XOXO ✨♥️♥️✨🫶🏼🫶🏼
We’re all just figuring out how to be alive for the first time. I love that. I love you. ❤️
I'm here, with you, along the way, wherever that way goes. I hope you begin to realize that you are a badass, a badass that requires nurturing of body and soul. Not calling it self-care, so there. You're courageous to share this. Love you.
Heather, I was in a similar place around 15 years sober. For a while the sister 12 step group helped more, but overall I found that the rooms were not offering me enough to help me quiet my mind and regulate me emotionally. Most of what I found in that program was people just telling me that my racing mind was the results of me not working the program hard enough, not doing enough. As you know, I also went through a similar caretaking period with both my mom and MIL. That induced some serious burnout so I do understand exactly how you feel. I needed to spend time at that point really figuring out how my brain worked. Learning about my ADHD and neurodivergence really helped me understand how much of what my brain does is not things I can control, no matter how many steps I hit them with (I reviewed my first 4th not long ago, and 85% was adhd shit). Then doing five years of intense trauma therapy… now it’s hard to visit the rooms because there is just so much unhealed trauma that the steps don’t address. I do miss the community, though. I’d be happy to discuss with you if you’d ever wanna chat about it! Love you, girl, and good luck at sober camp.
You lose nothing gained in a relapse except the parts of you that needed some TLC. People may shame you or I, but what others think you lost will become major gains. You gain wisdom, you enlarge your empathy, and you rediscover the joy of the simple things amidst the complexities of life. Keep your chin up, my friend. I've got nothing but mad dog respect for you! 💪
*Edited for clarity.
Thank you, Jeremy. I appreciate this powerful perspective and your grace so much.
Courageous. Beautiful. An ode. Brava. Thank you. You go. I believe in you. You've gifted us all with your gorgeous, raw vulnerability.
Thank you for your kindness, Leisa. ❤️
Oh, yeah. And also? YAY! May you find space for lots of deep breathing, and permission to do the grieving that has been stored in your very bones for the last few years. Scream. Pound on something. Write it down. Then, go on a never-ending hunt for beauty, wherever you can find it. And as you spot it - know that your amazing parents are lookin' at it right with you. Yes, they are.
I love you, my friend. Thank you for this beautiful response.
Love you, Heather! You’re one of the strongest and most caring people I know❤️
Thank you, Mandy. ❤️
Glad you're there, and sorry that there's so much incredible assholery in our health care system that you couldn't find somewhere safe to land. That part just gets scarier by the day. But you have your caring family, and they are so supportive...I loved that they all moved you in. Wishing you a safe space and the time and the work (always the work) that makes something click and feel true inside.
Thank you, dear one. I love you.
I've followed your posts and writings for a number of years now - and I admire you greatly and I relate almost totally. Thank you for sharing your life. I'm rooting for you from Texas!
Thank you for following my words and for rooting for me. I'm grateful, so grateful.
I love you, my foreversobersoulsister! There will always only be one you for me in this very particular way, and I will always be right here with you in this, wherever you are. Sober camp! I like it here. <3
Oh Maggie, dammit. I adore you, your heart and soul and your words, always.
Prayers. Well wishes and support from South Dakota.
Thank you, sir. I'm pretty sure you're a fellow creative tortured soul. Which is a beautiful thing when by tortured we mean we care a lot, love hard, and make magic. I had lost my creative self and that sure is painful. I hope I'm finding her now.
Heather, I followed you years ago, and I’m so glad I found you again. I had 14 years, and now I’m at 33 days. My story is much like yours, and I’m also trying to learn selfcare and rest. It’s harder than I thought so far. I’m looking forward to following along with your journey.
We are traveling together. I’m grateful that you reconnected and that everything about your fourteen years is still inside you and matters more than a relapse. These relapses are informing us of something. Let’s keep listening. Peace to you.
Maggie, what a wonderful story and good for her. I don't often talk about my years of sobriety, but I can say tomorrow it will be thirty years. I used to be really good at drinking, so, they don't let me do it anymore. All the best.
Beautiful words from a beautiful soul. I love you. Eyes. Forever and always.
I love love you and with you and for you.
I know you are. I love you, too. ❤️
Hi Heather, I am thinking of you and cheering you on from Onamia. I moved away from the area, but near or far, you continue to be an inspiration. Thank you for sharing with such honesty and openness. I have been having many feelings you were discussing in your writing. It made me pause and evaluate if I need to change things before it gets too unmanageable. Please know that your sharing has helped me and will help others!
Michelle, you lovely soul. What you've said here is exactly why I write. Thank you for taking the time to say it. Much peace and love to you.